I’ve dated Americans, Hispanics, and Europeans. As someone that is Hispanic but was born here and raised here, I can tell you that there is a difference. It’s not genetic as much as cultural upbringing. My best relationship has been with a German. It wasn’t about him leading, as much as him listening. And because of that, I did too. We had a mutual partnership wherein some things I made the decisions and in others he did. We lived a happy five-year relationship where we clearly did not have to define what we were to anyone. They knew. He was also a considerate lover. The Americans I have dated have been good lovers, but they don’t like to listen or if they do, they assume that I’m trying to gain their sympathy. Which I never actually wanted in the first place. I was just opening up about myself. As one should in a relationship over the course of a long time. I can sense that the moment they realize I’m smart and not easy to persuade to follow orders, they back off. It’s a matter of time before they give me an excuse. I’ve heard the whole “You are an Alpha to my Beta” one. It’s as if all is good if I am a Barbie that just laughs at everything they say. Hispanics shift depending on their actual background, but they are similar to Americans. They don’t quite care for your intelligence but they do believe that they are the King of the Household at all times. Currently, I’ve been dating a Swedish male, and I can say that thus far, he’s incredibly patient, very quiet, very good manners though, and very smart and what I like about our relationship thus far is that we can flirt but switch to talk about science and Higgs particle in a manner of minutes. We can be ourselves and I don’t have to fear looking too smart with him. I like that. It’s reminding me of my relationship with my German ex in that regard. I did not have to worry about what I said, how I said it and how the other side would take it, I could be my true nerdy, geek, self.
When my best friend joined her first dating site, like most people, she went with one of the largest ones that was completely free. She assumed she was making the right choice, but within the first day, she regretted her decision. The site had too many people for her to sort through and didn’t have the resources to help her to do so. Plus, she had already received 40 or so messages that she needed to read. Online dating become more work than fun.
‘Asking your date questions not only shows that you’re interested in what they have to say but it also allows you to get to know them, which is what a first date is all about! Don’t stick to small talk. More intimate questions about your date’s hopes, dreams and passions will help you forge a closer connection – and it’s a lot more interesting than talking about the weather.’
I dated a French guy who slept with me asap. Was hideously romantic, chased and chased, swept me off my feet, told me he loved me … and then ran for the hills when I made a comment suggesting he was my boyfriend after a few months. He then started to play games and get all ‘come here, no go away, no come here’ with me. Ended up breaking my heart and my sanity.
4. European men are comfortable with women, which leads to respect for women. Perhaps this has to do with their upbringing, where it’s very normal for boys and girls to play and intermingle together. They grow up developing friendships with the opposite sex and in turn, develop more empathy and understanding of the opposite sex. In American culture, there is a clear segregation of the sexes, boys play with boys and do boy things and girls do the same. Then these boys grow up and are exposed to the opposite sex in an abrupt, often sexualized way. The consequence of this is a lack of understanding of women, a lack of comfort and often, a lack of respect.
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The dating industry online, is a very serious and competitive business, so to distinguish themselves from others, several sites have created features which are specially designed to help their members. Some of these sites provide counselling for relationships, while others focus on live events offline for their dating members, and others offer the opportunity for their members to buy gifts for others! While these features are excellent, it is good to remember that an active, large database of members, is the most promising feature.